I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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