hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
