i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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