The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
