So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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