im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
