Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
