Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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