Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
