Your dad touched me again.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We are all done wearing pants today
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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