1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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