He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
