in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My feet surprised me
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