I must be too annoying 4 u.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
