My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
