do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
