doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
