i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
