He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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