And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
