Need sex. Gaining weight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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