just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize