It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
