maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
