He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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