this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
