You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
