yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize