She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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