i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
