dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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