Jerry, you need to find god
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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