when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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