He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
