Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The air taste purple.
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