Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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