yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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