Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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