Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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