Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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