After last night, I could never be a politician.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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