the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
