Fuck appropriateness.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
