yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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