Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
