last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
