You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
