Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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