I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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