My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
