I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
