she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
