Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
