Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
