In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
