i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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