Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
