I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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