Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
