Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
