oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
